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The Disaster Artist (2017) Poster

Quotes

[from trailer]

Sandy Schklair: Action!

[Wiseau enters the scene]

Tommy Wiseau: I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit! I did not hit her. I did not.

[throws water bottle on the ground]

Tommy Wiseau: Oh, hi Mark.

[pause, then the crew applauds before Greg hugs Wiseau]

Mrs. Sestero: How old are you?

Tommy Wiseau: Don't worry, I'm Greg age.

Mrs. Sestero: You're 19?

Tommy Wiseau: [shrugs]

Mrs. Sestero: [Sarcastic] Yeah. I just turned 14.

Tommy Wiseau: [Not knowing it's sarcastic] Wow, happy birthday!

Judd Apatow: Just because you want it doesn't mean it can happen.

Greg Sestero: Tommy, dude, this really isn't necessary.

Tommy Wiseau: No, no! Very necessary. I need to show my ass to sell this picture.

[from trailer]

Sandy Schklair: Why is he having sex with her bellybutton? He knows where her vagina is, right?

Tommy Wiseau: [Practicing his lines] 'Oh, hi Mark... ' 'Oh, hi Mark... ' 'Oh, hi Mark... '

Tommy Wiseau: Oh, hi Greg!

[from trailer]

Sandy Schklair: Take 67, Action!

[Wiseau enters the scene]

Tommy Wiseau: I hit her!

Sandy Schklair: No! Do you want to change the line?

Greg Sestero: You're doing great, man. We'll get there!

[from trailer]

Sandy Schklair: Ready, and, Action!

[Wiseau opens the rooftop door and steps into the scene. He pauses for several seconds]

Tommy Wiseau: What line? What is the line?

Sandy Schklair: I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi Mark.

Tommy Wiseau: Okay.

[Wiseau returns to the rooftop exit]

Philip: Hey, Tommy, how old is Denny supposed to be?

Tommy Wiseau: He your age. 15-16 years old boy.

Philip: Tommy... I'm... I'm 26

[from trailer]

Sandy Schklair: Action!

[Wiseau enters the scene. He pauses, forgetting his lines again]

Tommy Wiseau: What is line?

[from trailer]

Greg SesteroSandy Schklair: I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi Mark.

Juliette: It's still going?

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Greg Sestero: You are a fucking villain, you fucking Frankenstein-looking motherfucker!

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[as Johnny kills himself in "The Room"]

Dan Janjigian: Do it!

JulietteRobyn Paris: Do it! Do it!

The Whole Audience: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

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[as Claudette in "The Room"]

Carolyn Minnott: I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.

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Tommy Wiseau: Los Angeles, everybody want to be star. All the pretty boys. They're lining up for the big shot.

Greg Sestero: Just uh, just have to get lucky, I guess.

Tommy Wiseau: No. No. It's not luck, Greg. Greg, you have to be the best. You have to be the best you can be. And never give up.

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Greg Sestero: I wish we could just make our own movie.

Tommy Wiseau: That great idea.

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Greg Sestero: We are doing this.

Tommy Wiseau: Tomorrow, this will all be yours, Greg.

Greg Sestero: Ah! We will own you, L.A.!

Tommy Wiseau: Watch out, here we come!

Greg Sestero: You will know our names!

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Greg Sestero: You're really gonna make this thing?

Tommy Wiseau: No, Greg. We are going to do it. Together.

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Greg Sestero: It's Bryan fucking Cranston!

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Greg Sestero: Tommy, that felt fucking amazing, man!

Tommy Wiseau: There you go, now you're acting, Greg.

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Henry: People are very strange these days! Oh, hi Betty.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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