My list of guilty pleasures (Movies I like but which I can never admit to liking because no one who normally likes movies will like them)

by fmaier | created - 19 May 2011 | updated - 15 Nov 2013 | Public

We all know movies that are condemned to be bad, be it for their ludicrous imagery, nonsensical storyline, quirky acting or whatever else there exists to go wrong.

Nevertheless, even though we all hear about these kind of movies and how awful they aparently are, we sometimes feel compeled to just "take a peek", and before you know it you sat through the whole thing and start saying to yourself, "Hey that wasn't too bad, actually, that was pretty good." Some people will argument that people who watch these kind of movies drift into a shell-shock kind of trance that lets them endure anything no matter how bad, but that's another story.

Now, I know quite a few people will go on to calling me crazy, or insane, or whatever other words there are for that particular condition, here is a list of movies that are deemed to be failures, but that I nevertheless enjoyed and found highly entertaining. "Why?" you will ask. I don't know. Maybe because I am CRAZY. Seriously people, WHY SO SERIOUS???

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1. Southland Tales (2006)

R | 145 min | Comedy, Mystery, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  
44 Metascore

During a three day heat wave just before a huge 4th of July celebration, an action star stricken with amnesia meets up with a porn star who is developing her own reality TV project, and a policeman who holds the key to a vast conspiracy.

Director: Richard Kelly | Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Seann William Scott, Carlos Amezcua

Votes: 33,929 | Gross: $0.28M

A whole lot of well-known (and quasi-well-known) actors in this one, ludicrous imagery and a plotline a person of firm mind can hardly follow properly. Nevertheless, I found it strangely intriguing and highly entertaining having all the weirdness and obscure imagery I desire in a movie that I knew was going to be weird, and of course it makes you think (be it about quantum mechanics or about how on earth someone could come up with such a movie).

2. Jonah Hex (2010)

PG-13 | 81 min | Action, Drama, Fantasy

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.7/10 X  
33 Metascore

The U.S. military makes a scarred bounty hunter with warrants on his own head an offer he cannot refuse: in exchange for his freedom, he must stop a terrorist who is ready to unleash Hell on Earth.

Director: Jimmy Hayward | Stars: Josh Brolin, Megan Fox, John Malkovich, Michael Fassbender

Votes: 49,096 | Gross: $10.54M

I like Josh Brolin, John Malkovich and Michael Fassbender, that's about it. Didn't know too much about the comic book, heard that it got a lot of negative feedback from all sides, nevertheless gave it a chance, and (you're gonna say I'm crazy now) actually enjoyed it.

3. BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2011)

R | 79 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3/10 X  

Rayne fights against the Nazis in Europe during World War II, encountering Ekart Brand, a Nazi leader whose target is to inject Adolf Hitler with Rayne's blood in an attempt to transform ... See full summary »

Director: Uwe Boll | Stars: Natassia Malthe, Brendan Fletcher, Michael Paré, Willam Belli

Votes: 5,307

Two words; "NAZI VAMPIRES"

4. Mutant Chronicles (2008)

R | 111 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  

28th century soldier Mitch Hunter leads a fight against an army of underworld Mutants.

Director: Simon Hunter | Stars: Thomas Jane, Ron Perlman, Devon Aoki, Sean Pertwee

Votes: 24,358 | Gross: $0.01M

Curiosity made me go for this one, and of course the actors, especially John Malkovich, Ron Perlman, Thomas Jane, and how many other known names were involved in this CGI(conic) Steampunk WWII (or maybe WWI) mashup.

5. Season of the Witch (2011)

PG-13 | 95 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  
28 Metascore

14th-century knights transport a suspected witch to a monastery, where monks deduce her powers could be the source of the Black Plague.

Director: Dominic Sena | Stars: Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy, Stephen Campbell Moore

Votes: 81,305 | Gross: $24.83M

It had Ron Perlman in it, and it was about witches, monks, templars and the plague. Even though I knew from the trailers it would be one of those "It stinks and there's absolutely nothing good about it" movies, I had to watch and had to like it. Watch it if you want to see a barely recognizable Christopher Lee dying of the plague and if you want to see that funny kid from the show Misfits in his "first" movie role, to be honest he's actually pretty lovable, unlike Nick Cage.

6. Caligula (1979)

Unrated | 156 min | Drama, History

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.3/10 X  

Details the graphic and shocking, yet undeniably tragic story of Rome's most infamous Caesar, Gaius Germanicus Caligula.

Directors: Tinto Brass, Bob Guccione, Giancarlo Lui | Stars: Malcolm McDowell, Peter O'Toole, Helen Mirren, Teresa Ann Savoy

Votes: 29,468 | Gross: $23.44M

Malcolm MacDowell's perfomance as well as many of the supporting actors, notably, Peter O'toole, Helen Mirren and Lisa Ann Savoy made it watchable and worthwhile to me. Basically one of these movies you either love or hate, one of these misunderstood masterpieces or a mere runner-up among high-class trash-fests, one you endure or dare not to bare.

7. The Crow: City of Angels (1996)

R | 84 min | Action, Crime, Fantasy

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.6/10 X  

The spirit of the Crow resurrects another man seeking revenge for the murder of his son.

Director: Tim Pope | Stars: Vincent Perez, Mia Kirshner, Richard Brooks, Iggy Pop

Votes: 16,920 | Gross: $17.88M

I know the original is a timeless cult classic and I know Vincent Perez is no Brandon Lee, but, hell, despite all its flaws and recycled story, it did leave me glued to the seat till the very end. Just let me fetch my leather mantle and put on my white and black make-up to get me in the mood.

8. The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)

R | 99 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3/10 X  

On his way to becoming an immortal demon, a gang leader orchestrates the murder of an ex-con and his girlfriend.

Director: Lance Mungia | Stars: Yuji Okumoto, Marcus Chong, Tito Ortiz, Tara Reid

Votes: 7,411

If any movie makes you want to do this;, after watching it, it's got to be this one. The charm of a badly put together TV-production and the desperate desire to adapt a storyline comparable to its predecessors. The only thing that keeps it together for me is the actors, notably Edward Furlong and David Boreanaz, trying to act their way through this one.

9. The Crow: Salvation (2000)

R | 102 min | Action, Crime, Fantasy

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5/10 X  

Alex Corvis returns to the world of the living to solve the murder of a young woman that he was wrongly accused of.

Director: Bharat Nalluri | Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Eric Mabius, Fred Ward, Jodi Lyn O'Keefe

Votes: 9,573

Now, many will say this one sucks, and I'll have to agree, where's the random goofiness of the second one, and where's the part where Kirsten "I'm gonna be Spiderman's babe, or not" dies. Well, not here, at least it's got some weird imagery and some good unexplainable plotline stuff, I don't know if I like the Crow letting his face fall off to reveal his custom make up, but at least he's pretty much different from his predecessors, he's cocky, he's rash, uncontrolled and carries lotsa anger around with him, and of course Fred Ward as the expected unexpected lead bad guy, another iconic moments in cheap movie history and I adored it.

10. Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

R | 91 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  

In the future, Highlander Connor MacLeod must prevent the destruction of Earth under an anti-ozone shield.

Director: Russell Mulcahy | Stars: Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Virginia Madsen, Michael Ironside

Votes: 39,036 | Gross: $15.56M

I used to love this piece as a kid, following the first with its relentless sword fighting and fantasy storyline, adding more than just a bit of science fiction, a simpler plot and just enough randomness to make it an unforgettable piece of trash that one just can't help but love?

11. Judge Dredd (1995)

R | 96 min | Action, Crime, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  

In a dystopian future, Joseph Dredd, the most famous Judge (a police officer with instant field judiciary powers), is convicted for a crime he did not commit and must face his murderous counterpart.

Director: Danny Cannon | Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Rob Schneider, Jürgen Prochnow

Votes: 96,414 | Gross: $34.69M

Not as gritty as the comics and with a lot more campy contents than expected, not to forget the over-exaggerated performances by Sylvester Stallone and Armand Assante, and above all a lot funnier, if partially unintentional, than it probably should have been. A fun ride if you give it a try. I do love to come back to this one when I can't think of anything else to watch, and that not only because J.D. and Turk Love it. In its aftermath this movie did coin one of the phrases most commonly used by critics nowadays, "I AM THE LAW!!!"

12. Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

R | 85 min | Horror, Thriller

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  

A California couple and a survivalist encounter Leatherface and his family.

Director: Jeff Burr | Stars: Kate Hodge, Ken Foree, R.A. Mihailoff, William Butler

Votes: 11,104 | Gross: $5.77M

This movie was just fun, and even though it has barely anything to do with the first and second, both timeless classics (good and bad ones) if you ask me, it does have it's charms as well as a nice quirky cast, many many horror and slasher movie moments, as well as just enough suspense to have you glued to the seat for at least a bit more than half the time. In the end you may come to see that it's not as bad as it's made out to be.

13. The Last Sentinel (2007)

R | 93 min | Action, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  

No emotion. No fear. No pain. They were the perfect soldiers to protect civilization-until the drone police became the perfect enemy. With little hope left for mankind, Tallis, an ... See full summary »

Director: Jesse V. Johnson | Stars: Peter Allas, Matthew R. Anderson, Steven Bauer, Keith David

Votes: 1,533

I remember watching this because I felt like it, because it seemed like a smart thing to do, because it sounded good, because if I wouldn't have sat throught this post-apocalyptic, near futuristic, seemingly low budget trash fest I would have missed a good bad movie.

14. Congo (1995)

PG-13 | 109 min | Action, Adventure, Mystery

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.1/10 X  
22 Metascore

When an expedition to the African Congo ends in disaster, a new team is assembled to find out what went wrong.

Director: Frank Marshall | Stars: Laura Linney, Tim Curry, Dylan Walsh, Ernie Hudson

Votes: 37,128 | Gross: $81.02M

Apparently this movie is so bad, they used it as a measurement to review bad movies. Well, considering that there actually is much worse out there, I'd have to admit that I really liked it. And even though my whole family agrees with the fact that the special effects, how little were utilized, were beyond bad, the apes were downright unbelievable and the plot was an easy to follow jungle expedition drenched in quirky humour and predictable turnouts, spiced with just a little bit of gore, we still like to gather around the television on a Saturday night to watch it, heaven knows why.

15. The Condemned (2007)

R | 113 min | Action, Crime, Thriller

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  
23 Metascore

Jack Conrad is awaiting the death penalty in a corrupt Central American prison. He is "purchased" by a wealthy television producer and taken to a desolate island where he must fight to the death against nine other condemned killers from all corners of the world, with freedom going to the sole survivor.

Director: Scott Wiper | Stars: Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones, Nathan Jones, Robert Mammone

Votes: 46,940 | Gross: $0.00M

Lotsa needless sweat, blood and testosterone mixed with a bit of familiar storyline driven through the meat grinder and we get this. The actors do what they can and the story wobbles and jitters about, yet it remains highly entertaining and action-packed. The competition being broadcast over the internet actually gave it a pretty nice twist. The only thing that bugged me a little bit is that the German contestant didn't last that long, but well nobody's perfect.

16. Predator 2 (1990)

R | 108 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  

Amidst a territorial gang war in 1997, a sophisticated alien hunter stalks the citizens of Los Angeles and the only man between him and his prey is veteran L.A.P.D. officer, Lieutenant Mike Harrigan.

Director: Stephen Hopkins | Stars: Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Kevin Peter Hall, Rubén Blades

Votes: 119,243 | Gross: $30.67M

I absolutely love this movie, so much I actually have it twice. Don't get me wrong the first one was brilliant, but I can't watch it all the time. This one I can watch all the time. The Predator looks more badass, there's a city full of people he can use as a hunting ground, not just a lonely rainforest with a lost army unit, and it takes place during a ferocious gang war, well in the beginning it does. But still I cannot tell people I like this movie without them staring at me confused and in disbelief. So I have no other choice but to put it here, where all the lost and forgotten legends lie.

17. Demolition Man (1993)

R | 115 min | Action, Crime, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.6/10 X  
34 Metascore

A police officer is brought out of suspended animation in prison to pursue an old ultra-violent nemesis who is loose in a non-violent future society.

Director: Marco Brambilla | Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock, Nigel Hawthorne

Votes: 135,729 | Gross: $58.06M

Why I like this movie? I wish I knew.

18. Jason X (2001)

R | 91 min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.4/10 X  
25 Metascore

Jason Voorhees returns with a new look, a new machete, and his same murderous attitude as he is awakened on a spaceship in the 25th century.

Director: James Isaac | Stars: Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, Jeff Geddis, David Cronenberg

Votes: 42,879 | Gross: $13.12M

Basically a deformed juggernaut of ideas that normally do not mix and should not be mixed at any cost unless for the purpose of creating mass brain damage. Well, I do have to say, brain damage can be fun sometimes.

19. RoboCop 2 (1990)

R | 117 min | Action, Crime, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.8/10 X  

Cyborg law enforcer RoboCop returns to protect the citizens of old Detroit but faces a deadly challenge when a rogue OCP member secretly creates a new, evil RoboCop 2.

Director: Irvin Kershner | Stars: Peter Weller, John Glover, Mario Machado, Leeza Gibbons

Votes: 69,980 | Gross: $45.68M

I saw this movie when I was a child, I thought it was dark and pretty scary. When I re-encountered this movie I though I'd rekindle my previous connection to it. Let's say that after rewatching it I thought it wasn't as dark and as gritty as I had it in mind. Still, I like it, it may not be as great as its predecessor and it may not have the same depth, at least its action-packed, quirky fun, even though you may feel like having been kicked in the nuts by a pneumatic robot limb afterwards.

20. RoboCop: Prime Directives (2001)

R | 375 min | Action, Crime, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.7/10 X  

Thirteen years after the original Robocop, Delta City, considered to be "The Safest Place On Earth!", has become a futuristic city owned and operated by OCP, and RoboCop, Alex Murphy has ... See full summary »

Stars: Page Fletcher, Maurice Dean Wint, Maria del Mar, Anthony Lemke

Votes: 2,016

During its release the movie series 'Robocop: Prime Directives' was hailed a return to form for the ever so stagnating Robocop franchise, to a degree, it had the familiar setting, albeit 10 (or was it 20) years later, Delta City is prospering, satirical and cynical news reports are commonly viewed on tv and Robocop is now out of date. A nice premise which falls flat in execution, while the story features promise around every corner and turn, new adversaries such as 'the Bone-Machine', 'Robocable', and of course good old OCP now developing a maniacal AI a lá 'Every AI from every movie with a rampaging AI'. Still enjoyable, still violent, still Robo.

21. Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004 Video)

R | 88 min | Action, Adventure, Horror

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.5/10 X  

In the sequel to Paul Verhoeven's loved/reviled sci-fi film, a group of troopers taking refuge in an abandoned outpost after fighting alien bugs, failing to realize that more danger lays in wait.

Director: Phil Tippett | Stars: Billy Brown, Richard Burgi, Kelly Carlson, Cy Carter

Votes: 19,796

Alright boys and girls, compared to the first one this one sucks, yeah, still, it has our favourite alien insectoid baddies the "Bugs" facing our strong and vigilant fellas from the Mobile Infantry once again, on a planet that seems to be composed only of one misty smoke-filled night. A group just happens to get trapped in an abandoned tower surrounded by a legion of creepy crawlies only finding out too late that the enemy is already inside. Sure it's not as action-packed as the first, but it has all the rest, Bugs, the same costumes, and the intro and outro have the same propaganda as its predecessor. Occasionally it does seem like a rather cheap TV production, but the Effects are good, there are a couple of gory parts and the story is not all that bad. And yeah, I think I know what went wrong with the 3rd movie's CGI, someone reused it in this movie, then saw how horrible the resulting movie had become, deleted the Bug footage from both movies (in hopes no one would ever make another one), leading to the people who wanted to do the 3rd to re-create the CGI yet only doing a half-assed job. Well, don't know what movie the others have been watching, but I actually liked this movie and do not think it should be erased from the glorious yet troubled history of the Federation.

22. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)

PG-13 | 127 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.8/10 X  
15 Metascore

A man named Farmer sets out to rescue his kidnapped wife and avenge the death of his son, two acts committed by the Krugs, a race of animal-warriors who are controlled by the evil Gallian.

Director: Uwe Boll | Stars: Jason Statham, Ron Perlman, Ray Liotta, Leelee Sobieski

Votes: 40,304 | Gross: $4.54M

For the most thorough brain-numbing experience watch the extended (worst)director's cut. Another half an hour of epic stupidity driven by a vast array of star power aquired under most suspicious circumstances. It'll surely make you cringe in disgusted delight and knock your socks off one way or another.

23. Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (1991)

R | 91 min | Action, Comedy, Thriller

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.1/10 X  

A young man with superhuman strength is incarcerated at a prison run by corrupt officials and seeks to use his martial arts to clean up the system.

Director: Ngai Choi Lam | Stars: Siu-Wong Fan, Mei Sheng Fan, Ka-Kui Ho, Yukari Ôshima

Votes: 10,727

The godfather of far eastern martial arts gorefests. Absurdly violent and heavenly overacted to such a degree that it transmorphs into an overplayed comedy with a ton of shock value all revolving around the literally unstoppable hero Ricky-Ho.

24. Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)

PG-13 | 93 min | Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.4/10 X  
29 Metascore

Jobe is resuscitated by Jonathan Walker. He wants Jobe to create a special computer chip that would connect all the computers in the world into one network, which Walker would control and ... See full summary »

Director: Farhad Mann | Stars: Patrick Bergin, Matt Frewer, Austin O'Brien, Ely Pouget

Votes: 8,408 | Gross: $2.41M

25. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

PG-13 | 95 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.7/10 X  
11 Metascore

A group of martial arts warriors have only six days to save the Earth from an extra-dimensional invasion.

Director: John R. Leonetti | Stars: Robin Shou, Talisa Soto, James Remar, Sandra Hess

Votes: 39,397 | Gross: $35.93M

26. Spiders (2000)

R | 94 min | Horror, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 3.9/10 X  

A DNA experiment on a rare breed of spider is taking place on a NASA space shuttle, when a freak meteor shower engulfs the shuttle, causing everything to go horribly wrong. One survivor is ... See full summary »

Director: Gary Jones | Stars: Lana Parrilla, Josh Green, Oliver Macready, Nick Swarts

Votes: 2,415

I hate spiders, I dare even say I have a proper phobia of them. So what better way to deal with a case of full-fledged arachnophobia, you watch a bunch of movies about giant mutated spiders that are on a rampage. Yeah, there might not be much logic in that but it lets you watch a few good, and a few not so good movies. This one I watched as a kid, well not all of it, but parts of it. Let me say I thought it was scary and it disturbed me to a degree, would I have continued watching my prior views would have been shattered by the absurdity that followed. I'm not saying I didn't like this movie, I loved it, it's an A-class B-movie. As a viewer you only have to realise that the directors, while probably taking it serious to some degree, only really got into this movie when the spiders and the special-effects kick off. And boy did it look like they were having fun.

27. Trancers (1984)

PG-13 | 76 min | Action, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.1/10 X  

Jack Deth is a kind of cop/bounty hunter in the bleak Los Angeles of the future. He's become obssessed with chasing Whistler - an evil criminal who uses powerful hypnotic powers to convert ... See full summary »

Director: Charles Band | Stars: Tim Thomerson, Helen Hunt, Michael Stefani, Art LaFleur

Votes: 4,343

28. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011)

PG-13 | 96 min | Action, Fantasy, Thriller

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.3/10 X  
34 Metascore

As Johnny Blaze hides out in Eastern Europe, he is called upon to stop the devil, who is trying to take human form.

Directors: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor | Stars: Nicolas Cage, Ciarán Hinds, Idris Elba, Violante Placido

Votes: 96,247 | Gross: $51.77M

Loved it! Better than the first! Don't get me wrong this one still is no. 2, and a whole load of it. But it's fun, that should be enough.

29. Roger Corman's Frankenstein Unbound (1990)

R | 85 min | Drama, Horror, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.5/10 X  

The ultimate weapon, which was meant to be safe for humankind, produces global side-effects, including time slides and disappearances. The scientist behind the project and his car are ... See full summary »

Director: Roger Corman | Stars: John Hurt, Raul Julia, Nick Brimble, Bridget Fonda

Votes: 3,131 | Gross: $0.33M

This is an amazing B-movie, it's a classic re-imagined, with a twist, a sci-fi twist. Yes, you read correctly, this is Frankenstein, but with time travel and lasers, brave creations and a talking car, yes you read correctly and I'm not on drugs (yet), a talking car. The ever so great and impressive John Hurt plays the lead (albeit not Frankenstein, who is portrayed by the equally talented Raul Julia). To be honest I was surprised to see Hurt in this, but like Lee and so many others he seems to just pick the roles as they come, as actors do not tend to know the result of the films they play in. The supporting characters are great, cheesy at times, just like the story, but still highly entertaining. The monster is different, yet fitting for a movie of this calibre and kind. The movie plays out like an opera, cheesy and predictable at times, yet not lacking the clear entertainment factor. A truly awe-inspiring twist to an old myth.

30. Waxwork (1988)

R | 95 min | Comedy, Horror

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  

A wax museum owner uses his horror exhibits to unleash evil on the world.

Director: Anthony Hickox | Stars: Zach Galligan, Deborah Foreman, Jennifer Bassey, Joe Baker

Votes: 8,855 | Gross: $0.81M

31. House (1985)

R | 93 min | Comedy, Fantasy, Horror

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  

A troubled writer moves into a haunted house after inheriting it from his aunt.

Director: Steve Miner | Stars: William Katt, Kay Lenz, George Wendt, Richard Moll

Votes: 18,989 | Gross: $19.44M

In between the cheese and the campiness this film was genuinely creepy and even scary at times, yet in an Evil Dead 2 kind of way. While it did not hit the mark as many times as the forementioned horror (and comedy) classic, this one is enjoyable and creates a nice atmosphere. Few people have actually seen or heard of this film and few I mentioned this film to and watched it actually liked it, and if they did not to anywhere near as much as I did. The film tries so hard to be a horror film of its age it ends up baffling its audience and becoming a romp of randomness, from flashbacks to vietnam to a surprise set of baby-sitting scenes.

32. The Patriot (1998)

R | 90 min | Action, Thriller

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 4.1/10 X  

A respected doctor must race against time to find a cure for a lethal virus, unleashed by a paramilitary militia leader.

Director: Dean Semler | Stars: Steven Seagal, L.Q. Jones, Gailard Sartain, Silas Weir Mitchell

Votes: 10,651

Confusion persists over two films with the same name, one from 1998 (this one, obviously) and one two years later starring Braveheart himself, Mel Gibson, but one is *beep* and the other is genius. Well, to me this one is the genius one, not because it's a masterpiece, not because it's an instant classic, no because it's Steven Seagal, playing an Indian Doctor War Vet on a mission to save his hometown, most importantly his daughter from Nazi terrorists and a deadly virus. What's not to like?

33. Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

R | 100 min | Action, Thriller

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.4/10 X  

Casey Ryback hops on a Colorado to LA train to start a vacation with his niece. Early into the trip, terrorists board the train and use it as a mobile HQ to hijack a top secret destructive US satellite.

Director: Geoff Murphy | Stars: Steven Seagal, Eric Bogosian, Everett McGill, Katherine Heigl

Votes: 38,691 | Gross: $50.02M

I love this film, not because of Seagal, it's an action film and a romp, it has a quirky and half-interesting bad guy who keeps your attention and steals the show if you ask me. Seagal does what he does best, that is play an action hero who can save a doomed train with hostages without breaking as much as a sweat, he's the man who can turn it all around and he wears sleek black to show it, never tears his suit and even manages to bond with his niece, all culminating in an exploding train, or rather two exploding trains, a collapsing bridge with both Seagal and his niece at his brother's and her father's tombstone standing perfectly still without a word said, now that's what I call an ending.

34. Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

R | 96 min | Action, Crime, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  

A data courier, literally carrying a data package inside his head, must deliver it before he dies from the burden or is killed by the Yakuza.

Director: Robert Longo | Stars: Keanu Reeves, Dolph Lundgren, Dina Meyer, Ice-T

Votes: 59,472 | Gross: $19.08M

Keanue Reeve's outburst near the end of the film is the highlight of this cheap sci-fi stinker, and makes it all worthwhile if you've stuck all the way through until that point. For me this film is pure fun, I love films that try hard, even too hard and go off the deep end early with quirky and confusing characters, there is Udo Kier as a bar owner, the seemingly miscast Dolph Lundgren as a priest and assassin of a church that preaches articial enhancements, and the great Takeshi Kitano in one of his few quasi-English speaking roles, all with Ice-T as the icing on the cake.

35. Virtuosity (1995)

R | 106 min | Action, Crime, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.6/10 X  
39 Metascore

When a virtual reality simulation created using the personalities of multiple serial killers manages to escape into the real world, an ex-cop is tasked with stopping its reign of terror.

Director: Brett Leonard | Stars: Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe, Kelly Lynch, Stephen Spinella

Votes: 24,986 | Gross: $24.05M

Russel Crowe steals the show in this one as an AI harbouring the minds and personalities of serial killers, mass murderers and terrorists gone rogue and set loose onto the world. Who else to save the day but a beat-down ex-cop out to settle a score played by Denzel Washington.

36. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

PG-13 | 107 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.7/10 X  
40 Metascore

A look at Wolverine's early life, in particular his time with the government squad Team X and the impact it will have on his later years.

Director: Gavin Hood | Stars: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Ryan Reynolds, Danny Huston

Votes: 404,281 | Gross: $179.88M

Not a great movie at all, it's all over the place, too many characters that do nothing and just pad out the story and act as 'fan service' or try to attract more viewers. Still, I love Wolverine, he is, or as of recently, was my favourite comic book character, he's marvel's poster-boy badass and it's always a romp when he shows his claws. The whole point of this film is lost in the wake of X-Men 2, the true Wolverine film, this one is just padding and action, with a few enjoyable references and characters.

37. King Cobra (1999 Video)

PG-13 | 93 min | Horror, Thriller, Sci-Fi

Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 2.9/10 X  

A mutated snake escapes from a laboratory and terrorizes the residents of a small California brewery town.

Directors: David Hillenbrand, Scott Hillenbrand | Stars: Pat Morita, Scott Hillenbrand, Casey Fallo, Hoyt Axton

Votes: 1,868

38. The Shadow (1994)

PG-13 | 108 min | Action, Adventure, Crime

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6/10 X  

In 1930's New York City, the Shadow battles his nemesis, Shiwan Khan, who is building an atomic bomb.

Director: Russell Mulcahy | Stars: Alec Baldwin, John Lone, Penelope Ann Miller, Peter Boyle

Votes: 20,189 | Gross: $32.06M

Poor Alec Baldwin for acting in this less than successful film, hailed now to be one of the worst comic book adaptions of all time. For its time it was probably impressive and groundbreaking to some degree, with a flat and confusing story and cheesy overacting. Still very much worth a watch and an enjoyable ride at that. Still, poor Alec Baldwin.

39. Con Air (1997)

R | 115 min | Action, Crime, Thriller

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.8/10 X  
52 Metascore

Newly paroled ex-con and former U.S. Ranger Cameron Poe finds himself trapped in a prisoner transport plane when the passengers seize control.

Director: Simon West | Stars: Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Colm Meaney

Votes: 242,417 | Gross: $101.12M

Loads of great actors in a mixed bag that results in one of the greatest prison break films ever made. And all with Nick Cage in the middle, things couldn't be any better, wait they are, they have JOHN FREAKIN' MALKOVICH.

40. The Rock (1996)

R | 136 min | Action, Adventure, Thriller

Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.4/10 X  
58 Metascore

A mild-mannered chemist and an ex-con must lead the counterstrike when a rogue group of military men, led by a renegade general, threaten a nerve gas attack from Alcatraz against San Francisco.

Director: Michael Bay | Stars: Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, John Spencer

Votes: 277,494 | Gross: $134.07M

Not too proud in liking this film, it's a Michael Bay film, and we all know Michael Bay's crimes against cinema. What keeps me attentive with this one are not the explosions, the ludicrous plot or the patriotic undertones, no it's the actors and their dedication. I like it, Sean Connery is a legend, Nick Cage is great, and Michael Biehn's there as well doing a great job. Agree or not, Michael Bay should not direct films, he did this one right if you ask me, but one good film doesn't make him a good director.

41. Avatar (2009)

PG-13 | 162 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 7.8/10 X  
83 Metascore

A paraplegic marine dispatched to the moon Pandora on a unique mission becomes torn between following his orders and protecting the world he feels is his home.

Director: James Cameron | Stars: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez

Votes: 970,156 | Gross: $760.51M

Of course I like this film, everyone does, but it is by far, and I apologise to David Cameron whom I consider a great director and cinematic visionary, one of the blandest films ever made, the plot is a forgettable regurgitated mish-mash of ideas and concepts that have been done to death, nothing original. The scenery is great, it is amazingly executed, the visual effects are stunning, the characters are interesting albeit the lead is a bit stale and your regular 101 guy with demons and cardboard personality. Sigourney Weaver is amazing, Michelle Rodriguez is....well....Michelle Rodriguez, and the villain is effective and intimidating. An enjoyable yet superficial piece of cinema.

42. Crank: High Voltage (2009)

R | 96 min | Action, Crime, Thriller

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    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 6.2/10 X  
41 Metascore

Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working.

Directors: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor | Stars: Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Clifton Collins Jr., Dwight Yoakam

Votes: 123,532 | Gross: $13.63M

This film is the most over-the-top, intensely brutal, testosterone-packed, adrenaline-fuelled, lightning-charged film made by the hands of men and their twisted minds. I love it, and while some may call me crazy, it is a crazy film, unlike the world has ever seen before. The characters equate caricatures of racial stereotypes, the violence borders splatter, and the story is straight out of a 90's arcade game and.... well let's say it's a meth and heroine addict's take on a screwball comedy.

43. Desert Heat (II) (1999)

R | 95 min | Action, Comedy, Drama

Rate this
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 5.2/10 X  

In the spring, the full moon shines for the warrior who has lost his way. Coyote is the spirit that leads back to life. If he follows the coyote when the moon is full, the warrior will see the path once more...

Director: John G. Avildsen | Stars: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Pat Morita, Danny Trejo, Gabrielle Fitzpatrick

Votes: 7,670